By Dr. Anthony O. Kellum, Contributing Columnist
After more than 30 years in business, I have come to believe that success is rarely the result of one extraordinary decision. More often, it is the product of ordinary decisions repeated consistently over time. It is what we do when nobody is watching, how we prepare for the day ahead, the people we choose to surround ourselves with, the knowledge we pursue and, perhaps most importantly, what we believe is possible for our own lives. We spend considerable time talking about success as though it were an event, a moment when everything finally comes together. In my experience, success is much more often a process, one that begins long before the results become visible.
For nearly three decades, I have maintained a morning routine that helps me approach each day with intention. I plan my day and write down the ten things I most need to accomplish. I do not always complete every item, and the priorities sometimes change, but writing them down forces me to distinguish between what is important and what is merely demanding my attention. Without a plan, it is easy to spend an entire day responding to other people’s priorities while making little progress on your own. The simple act of putting your goals on paper gives them structure and makes you accountable for what you intend to accomplish.
I also spend time in quiet reflection, closing my eyes and visualizing the life I want to build. I think about where I want to go, what I want my business to become, what I want for my family and what kind of future I am working to create. Some people may dismiss visualization as wishful thinking, but that misses the point. Imagining a better future does not make it happen by itself. What it can do is help you clarify what you want, remind you why you are working and influence the decisions you make throughout the day. You have to see the possibility before you can begin working toward it. But once you have that vision, you must be willing to get up, pick up the phone and do the work.
That is where real discipline begins.
One of the most important lessons I have learned in business is that opportunity rarely comes simply because we are waiting for it. We have to put ourselves in a position to encounter it. I make calls, reach out to people, build relationships and look for opportunities to meet people I would not otherwise know. There is a tendency to believe that networking means attending an event populated by people in your particular industry, exchanging business cards and hoping someone will eventually need your services. That is one approach, but I have found that some of the most valuable connections come from places I never expected.
I cannot tell you how many times I have attended networking events that had little or nothing to do with real estate or mortgage lending and walked away with a business opportunity, a valuable relationship or an introduction that eventually led somewhere meaningful. You never know what another person knows, whom they know or what opportunities may emerge from a conversation. Sometimes the person who changes your professional trajectory is not the person who works in your industry. It is the person who introduces you to someone else, challenges your thinking or opens your eyes to a possibility you had not considered.
That is why I encourage people to get uncomfortable and change their circles. If you attend the same events, talk to the same people and have the same conversations year after year, you may become very comfortable, but you may also limit your exposure to new ideas. There are dynamic, ambitious and interesting people everywhere, and they do not all work in the field you happen to know best. Attend the business luncheon. Go to the community event. Meet the entrepreneur whose business has nothing to do with yours. Talk to the person who has a different background, a different perspective or a different vision of what is possible. You do not have to abandon your existing relationships to expand your world. You simply have to be willing to enter rooms where you are not already the most familiar person.
But there is another part of this equation that I believe is just as important: you have to be intentional about what you allow into your mind. For years, I made a conscious effort to surround myself with positive messages and people who encouraged me to think bigger. I listened to motivational speakers such as Zig Ziglar and Les Brown, and I played motivational tapes every day. I joined networking and personal-development groups, including Yes, It’s a Positive Network, and I was willing to pay to attend seminars and hear speakers who could motivate me, challenge my thinking and help me see possibilities beyond my immediate circumstances. I wasn’t doing these things because I had everything figured out. I was doing them because I understood that I needed to keep developing myself if I wanted to grow my business and my life.
Looking back, I realize that I was investing in something that did not appear on a balance sheet. I was investing in my mindset. I wanted to hear messages that reminded me to keep going, to remain disciplined, to take action and to believe that my circumstances did not have to determine my destination. The people we listen to and the conversations we participate in can influence how we see the world. If we consistently expose ourselves to ideas that encourage us to learn, build, take responsibility and pursue opportunities, those ideas can become part of the way we approach our lives. The reverse can also be true.
Today, many of us are surrounded by negativity. We wake up to news about economic uncertainty, political conflict, racism, job losses, crime and all the things that seem to be going wrong. We scroll through social media and encounter arguments, criticism and people explaining why something cannot be done. Some of these concerns are real and deserve our attention. I am not suggesting that we ignore injustice, pretend that hardship does not exist or replace serious thought with empty slogans. But there is a difference between being informed about the world and allowing its most discouraging messages to occupy our minds all day.
When negativity becomes the dominant voice in our lives, it can affect what we believe is possible. We can become so accustomed to hearing about barriers that we begin to anticipate failure before trying. We can spend so much time discussing the reasons people struggle that we give too little attention to the habits, knowledge and relationships that help people move forward. Eventually, what we repeatedly hear can influence what we expect, and what we expect can influence what we are willing to attempt.
That is why I believe we must deliberately seek positive influences. Listen to a motivational speaker on the way to work. Read something that challenges you to think differently. Spend time with people who are building businesses, developing ideas and working toward meaningful goals. Attend a seminar. Join a group that encourages personal growth. Find mentors whose experience can help you avoid mistakes and recognize opportunities. You do not have to agree with every speaker or adopt every philosophy. The point is to keep exposing yourself to ideas that expand your thinking rather than allowing discouragement to become your default setting.
I have also come to appreciate the power of personal affirmation. I know this may sound unusual to some people, but I still look in the mirror and remind myself of what I believe about my life and my potential. I tell myself, “I’m great. I’m wealthy. I’m powerful. I’m on this earth for a reason.” I still do it today. These are not declarations that I have achieved everything I want or that I am exempt from difficulties. They are reminders of the person I am working to become and the responsibility I have to use the abilities, opportunities and time I have been given.
There is a difference between telling yourself that you are wealthy and actually building wealth. Affirmation will not pay your mortgage, establish a business or create an investment portfolio. But it can remind you to think beyond your current circumstances and act in accordance with the future you want to create. When I say that I am powerful, I am reminding myself that I have the capacity to make decisions, learn, work, build relationships and influence the direction of my life. When I say that I am here for a reason, I am reminding myself that my life should be about more than simply getting through another day. I have responsibilities to my family, my business, my community and the generations that will follow me.
The words alone are not the accomplishment. The actions that follow are what matter. But sometimes we need to hear ourselves say something positive before we can begin behaving as though the possibility is real. We should be as intentional about reinforcing our potential as we are about recognizing our problems.
Of course, meeting people and developing the right mindset are only part of the equation. We also have to become people who have something to contribute when opportunities arise. For me, one of the most valuable ways to do that has always been reading.
I have long believed that we should make a habit of reading, regardless of the subject. My goal has been to read at least one book a month. I will be honest: I have not always maintained that pace. Business responsibilities, family obligations and the ordinary demands of life can make it difficult to follow a perfect schedule. But I still try to keep a book in my hands and make reading a regular part of my life. The important thing is not whether you read exactly twelve books a year. It is whether you continue to expose your mind to ideas that challenge you, teach you something new and make you think more deeply about the world around you.
My own reading has evolved over the years. I started with African American history, moved more deeply into business and entrepreneurship, and have increasingly explored philosophy. Each stage has given me something different. Business books have helped me think about strategy, opportunity and the mechanics of building an enterprise. History has helped me understand the circumstances that shaped the world I inherited. Philosophy has encouraged me to examine my own assumptions, question my reactions and think more deliberately about how I live.
The common thread is not the subject matter. It is the act of thinking. Reading requires you to slow down, consider an argument, weigh evidence and sometimes confront an idea that challenges what you previously believed. It can strengthen your ability to analyze situations rather than simply react to them. It gives you more perspectives to draw upon when making decisions and reminds you that the problem occupying your attention today may have been examined by someone else a hundred years ago. You may not agree with everything you read, and you do not have to. The value often lies in the process of engaging with an idea and deciding what you believe for yourself.
One book, in particular, changed the way I thought about my own life. Years ago, when I was reading African American history, I picked up the autobiography of Frederick Douglass. I became so engrossed in his story that the experience went far beyond learning about a historical figure. By the time I finished the book, something had shifted in the way I saw myself and my own possibilities. I remember putting it down and feeling something that is difficult to describe unless you have experienced it yourself. I felt free.<
