According to numerous sites on apologies a proper apology should include: a detailed account of the situation, acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done, taking responsibility for the situation, recognition of your role in the event, a statement of regret, asking for forgiveness, a promise that it won’t happen again, and a form of restitution whenever possible.
Now we are requiring apologies from adults thanks to their comments made on social media and cameras and recorders in phones and other places that we don’t often think of. Ray Rice we need you to say you’re sorry for punching your wife in the face; Bill Cosby can you at least say you are sorry for allegedly having unwanted sexual relations with so many women; and to the police officers who have killed unarmed Black men, can you at least say “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do it.”
Way back in the day my mother wanted me to apologize for throwing buckeyes at the old lady who used to go to Nenos corner store to play her numbers. I was not sorry I was having fun until she told my mother that I did it. I readily admitted to my mom, “Yes, I did it.” “Why Debbie?” she’d ask. “Because I don’t like her mommy.”
Maybe telling the truth can get you out of the apology, because I never remember saying I was sorry but I was sorry I was caught and I stopped throwing the buckeyes. So instead of asking for an apology let’s give the person some truth serum and find out why they did what they did in the first place. I think we’ll all feel better and the fake apologies can stop.
(Email the columnist at debbienorrell@aol.com)
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