The Carr Report: Ladies, what’s your type…Working man or street man?

by Damon Carr, For New Pittsburgh Courier

I recently saw a meme online. It read, women are debating between choosing a working man with a 401(k) and $40,000 in the bank or a man who’s a street hustler with $250,000 in cash on hand. Niia Kash, the author of the post, had this to say:  “Working men are boring. Nine times out of ten they expect the woman to go half on the bills.  What is $40,000? Give me the street man, PLEASE! You only live once. I’m trying to LIVE! Plus I’m going to help my man invest and flip that $250,000.”

I posted this meme to my group to see what some of the women on my page would say. Below are some of their responses:

 The working man with a 401K and $40,000 in the bank. Why? Street life isn’t for me. ~Michika

In my younger days — PLENTY of women went for the street pharmacist. Money was definitely a want/need for many. I knew a few of the girls and guys. Hearing the stories I’ve heard — NOT A CHANCE was I going that route. Unbelievable the things the guys did to get that money. Unbelievable the nonsense the girls endured to keep getting money from the drug dealers.

Thankfully, I had a support system that included my parents and family. I would have been too embarrassed to go through some of those things. I’m NOT disrespecting anyone who did. It’s just not my thing.   I’ve ALWAYS been “afraid “ of those street guys and that lifestyle.  A working man brings much security and stability. You can absolutely grow and become more with a working man.

~Lovely Breeze

It’s not about the amount of money a man brings. The truth is money can easily be made by anyone. As long as a man has a good head on his shoulder we can work together and make so much more money. With that being said I ain’t messing with street money. We all know how things end.


$250,000. Street money sounds nice until it gets seized!

~ Brooke

This is easy. The working man. Consistency, stability, and security are what I look for in a relationship. 40K can and will grow to more because he’s a working man. No amount of money can make me want to be a significant other to a man in the streets.


No street life for me. I’m going with the working man.

~Chanda L.

Imma rock with the working man!


I’m not messing with a man who makes his money illegally. I’m not waiting on somebody to get out of jail or worried about the house getting shot up. I’m not about that life at all. Too many negative consequences come with that lifestyle. A man with a career and a plan is more my speed.

~ Chandra W.

I would definitely choose a working man because we could build together, as a working couple. A street man is for the streets and not for me. Also street money is not always consistent, especially when it’s a drought.


Working man!  Women need security and steadiness. More interested in his plan to build and bills can be split based on ratio of income to bills if needed.


I’m taking the working man. Maybe when I was in my late teens or early 20s I would’ve taken the drug dealer but I’m not living like that at this point in my life.


I’m taking the working man off top.  Yes, I have messed with drug dealers in my early days  but I’ll still pick that working man.  The drug dealer has multiple women (not saying working men don’t), no health insurance, no 401k, and death or jail is their early life sentence.


In my younger years I would have went for the drug dealer but now that I am older and wiser it is the working man for me. The drug dealer girlfriends are pretty and popular and you become the envy of all the other girls vying for your position. Drug dealers are gonna spend money on you to get your hair and makeup done. But it is a dangerous lifestyle. Working men are gonna have a 401k, pension for us to live off of when we retire. Last I checked drug dealers don’t have a portfolio. Working men are going to give you money for the mortgage and utility bills. In your teens and 20s you think of the “right now.” As you get older you think and plan for the future.


I’m 40 years old. I would not pick a street dude because I have seen personally that it leads to prison, death, or a handicap.



Damon here: As a kid who grew up in the hood, when you’re in it, your choices to get out of those circumstances seems limited. Biggie Smalls said it best: “Either you’re slinging crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot.”  Fortunately for me, I had a decent basketball game with a decent jump shot. The sport saved me from forging a life selling drugs. Having countless friends in the hood who got caught up in the streets, there’s one thing I remember vividly. Not one of them was single. They had multiple women wanting to be with them. Many of them have several children and several baby mothers to prove it. Many of them spent an average of 10-15 years in prison. Many of them died long before the age of 40. Some died before the age of 21. Many of them became users of the drugs they were selling.  I know of stories where innocent girlfriends were gunned down along with their boyfriends who were considered street dudes. 

The women who responded are all over 40 years old. They’re giving answers based on observation over the years and perspective. Hindsight is 20/20. Not one of them would date the street guy with $250,000. They’d opt for the working man with benefits.

Niia, the author of this meme, is more than likely under the age of 25. Her response sounds like something a young, immature person would say. She’s living in the moment. She’s not thinking about the negative consequences associated with the street lifestyle. Those of us who have lived 40 years or more get it.

This article is written with our younger generation in mind. To the young man who’s growing up with limited resources, choose work over dealing drugs. To the young woman who’s looking to be swept off her feet by a young man, choose the hard-working man with drive and ambition over the drug dealing man. You’ll thank us later!

(Damon Carr, Money Coach can be reached at 412-216-1013 or visit his website @




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