August 30 is my mother’s birthday; she would have been 93. My sister and I thought this would be a good day to visit her gravesite. I had tried to go and see it on my own birthday, but I could not find it. When I purchased the plot it was to be close to my father’s and I thought I knew where that was, but I was totally lost.
On that Saturday morning, we stopped in the offices of the Homewood Cemetery and got directions and a map. It seemed very simple; we had pine trees and small buildings as landmarks, but we drove around and around with no luck. We kept going back to the starting point until we finally found the area my father was in. We counted the rows and finally found his grave; his marker is flat and had almost disappeared.
Once we found his our mom’s was not hard to find. Her marker was much more prominent. Now that we know the location we are sure our next visit will be a breeze.
Cemeteries are interesting places and depending on your budget, you can select some beautiful headstones. I don’t see myself spending a lot of time in the cemetery, I am in favor of cremation for myself; visits to the cemetery can be very sad. I noticed people had left balloons and artificial flowers behind at their loved ones graves.
Some families make an annual visit to the cemetery on holidays and birthdays and then some don’t go to the cemetery at all. Some people prefer to create a “make-shift” memorial at the location of the death. I’m sure you have seen them, maybe on television; when people are found dead the make shift memorial begins to take shape. I noticed one on Frankstown Road, Allegheny River Blvd and on Bennett Street. They normally consist of flowers, pictures, candles and balloons. In some cases people will refresh the memorial with fresh flowers and balloons. When I see them on the side of the road I hope people are careful as they add to the memorial. Other memorials consist of empty liquor bottles, candles and beer cans; it no longer looks nice, it looks like a pile of trash.
After our visit to the cemetery, I wondered to myself if the people who create the makeshift memorials could not afford a plot at the cemetery or maybe they could not get transportation to and from.
As we drove around and around the Homewood Cemetery, we came up with a lot of ideas to help people find the gravesites. On the families first visit it would be nice if someone escorted you to the site; not all funerals include a gravesite visit. We chose to have the final service in the chapel so we had never been to the grave. We also thought street signs would be a good idea. I can’t see how that would hurt. If you do elect a “makeshift” memorial please be considerate of the surrounding neighbors.
(Email the columnist at debbienorrell@aol.com.)
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