DEAR GWEN: My grandmother refuses to accept her new problem!

Dear Gwendolyn:

My brother wants to remove my grandmother from her home where she has lived for over 50 years.

This is the problem: A year ago she woke up early and discovered that during the night she had gone totally blind. About 15 years ago doctors had informed her she would eventually lose all sight. Grandma never prepared herself for what laid ahead %uFFFD blindness. She continued going to nightclubs and dressing sharp.

However, her biggest love was cooking. She does not mind someone coming over to clean her house, but don’t go into the kitchen. She says, “That’s my thing.” My brother and I had a fierce argument because I feel grandma can still cook. In the movie telling the life of Ray Charles, he cooked.


Dear Belinda:

Now girl %uFFFD listen. That was a movie. Although it is said Ray Charles did consult with the telling of his life story before his death, and knowing that Ray Charles did live alone, it is believable he cooked. Let me tell you this: Ray Charles had an intelligent loving mother who saw that her son went to a school for the blind.

There he learned the Braille alphabet. His mother taught him to listen to sound. I know you love your grandma, but I must take sides with your brother. Think about this: Being told she would eventually lose her sight, she did nothing about it. She had 15 years to learn the Braille system and other skills that would have prepared her to live alone. Belinda, most elderly people have difficulty making the transition of not being able to do for themselves.

They think they can, but they can’t. What your grandma is experiencing can be the most detrimental of all %uFFFD blindness. Because she did not prepare for her future health demise, it is unwise for her to live alone. She lost her sight, but she doesn’t have to lose her mind. Sit with her as often as possible and talk about old times. She can’t see, but her memory will serve as her vision. (AP)

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