Brandy’s still holding out hope that she’ll eventually find Mr. Right, but she’s worried there isn’t much time left.
It was announced back in April, that Brandy and her fiance Ryan Press had split up, breaking their 15-month engagement off. She’s ready to get back out into the dating scene, but Brandy wants to make sure that her next romance lasts a lifetime.
Before she spills her guts on “Oprah: Where Are They Now?” tomorrow, the singer dropped by “The Daily Help Line” to find out how to get (and keep) the diamond ring.
“I’ve been in relationships before. I’ve been the heartbreaker; I have had my heart broken to pieces,” she said. “I just want to know the secret of making it work, ’cause time is ticking. I’m 35, and I’m trying to one day get to the next level. You know, marriage maybe?”
The female host, Spirits, gave Brandy the age-old wisdom that communication and accountability are necessary for a relationship to thrive.
“If there was something that we could bottle, honestly, everybody wants to know the secret,” said Spirits. “You’re not really going to like the answer because I think communication every day is the key. And I honestly think that most people are not willing to do what it takes to make a marriage work, much less a relationship.”
She added, “I really think that relationships are hard, and people don’t want to work hard.”
Getting married is only part of the equation, though. Once vows have been exchanged, Spirits believes that couples have to be willing to do what it takes to keep the relationship together. She stresses that while your personal happiness is a necessity, divorce should never be an option. She reasons, “When you take it off the table, then you have the opportunity for resolution, you have the opportunity to forgive, and you have the opportunity for forever. Forgive.”
Brandy might not want to get too worried about her personal deadline, though! Despite her age, 35 is not that old.
The New York Times reports that the Council on Contemporary Families found that 70 percent of college-educated black women were married by the age of 40. That number is about 60 percent for black women with a high school diploma.
And the good news is that the longer you wait to get married the more likely it is that your marriage will last! “We found that the delay in marriage was actually a good thing and it actually improved the average marital quality by a fair amount,” Pennsylvania State University sociologist Paul Amato told USA Today in 2008. He co-wrote a book titled Alone Together: How Marriage in America Is Changing.
“Older marriages (30s vs. 20s) were more cohesive in the sense they did things more often together as a couple,” he continued. “Couples who married at older ages were less likely to report thinking about divorce or that their marriage was in trouble.”