This is why we can’t have nice things. Following in the footsteps of the “Star Wars” Death Star and Secession “We The People” petitions, S.R. of Wilmington, North Carolina has created a petition to make R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix) the new National Anthem of the United States.
The petition, posted on WhiteHouse.gov, reads as follows:
We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.
Petitions that met the listed criteria became searchable on WhiteHouse.gov once — and if — they reach 150 signatures within 30 days. If that was accomplished, for President Obama to actively consider a petition, it must have reached 25,000 signatures within the remainder of the same 30-day period.
The White House has always reserved the right to change the time limit and number of signatures required, and did exactly that in the wake of the Death Star petition. Now a petition must reach 100,000 signatures within 30 days.
At the time this article was published, the petition had reached 2,234 signatures.